I have ten dollars and change in a jar.
Actually, it’s probably almost fifteen dollars in my jar. It’s sitting on the bureau by my bed.
You may be wondering why it’s not sitting in a bank account somewhere. It’s the first little bit of money that I’ve gotten together to pursue this ambition of going to Angela’s wedding. And somehow, having it there, seeing it, and seeing how far I will have to go to accomplish this is somehow giving me a focus to pursue this crazy notion I’ve had.
Obviously, financial hurdles are one of the biggest ones that I’m facing and given that my start is absolutely paltry, I have a very long way to go to be able to jump this one.
In an odd coincidence, it seems that a couple of blog postings about “manifesting” things into reality have been popping up on my radar lately, in my Word Press reader and on Twitter. I’m still not inclined to buy in to such things though. God, the Universe and I, we’re not on speaking terms and I’m not expecting a change in that status anytime soon.
But thinking about manifesting and about hope and the power of the human mind has been giving me some new thoughts about where I may be going next. It helps that my online community has been giving me some good ideas and pointing out some interesting connections to me, that’s turned out to be an amazing resource.
While I don’t believe we can ‘manifest’ anything by asking the Universe to provide it I do think that an ability to clearly state and visualize goals is absolutely essential. Since I started contemplating this crazy idea of mine a couple of days ago, many possibilities have already begun to generate. It’s taken some effort to find them, but they are there.
Believing something is possible is the first step towards actually accomplishing it. It’s not the most critical step, I refuse to accept that people fail at the things they set out in life simply because they lack faith in their ability to achieve them. The world all too often intervenes with large monkey wrenches that disrupt our plans and goals. This can only be compensated for up to a certain point.
Belief never guarantees success. It’s just the beginning of a plan.
And yet, I have my belief and my ten dollars in a jar and it seems like things are beginning to happen. It’s all so tentative and I wouldn’t dare yet return the RSVP card with a positive ‘yes I can attend’ based on this.
Yet something does indeed seem to be happening.
That’s because I have made the choice to try to make something happen. I don’t know if I can do it, if I can succeed, if any of these ‘ifs’ can be surmounted but I feel like I have some kind of power over my life again. That I have that power because I have chosen a goal and begun the process of pursuing it.
It’s a strange feeling after all of this drifting. But a good one.
One way or the other I am starting to look forward to finding out what happens next. And that may be the greatest gift that I get out of this whole endeavour.
All of my love to you, wherever you may be,